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Featured Articles:
Dating 101 For Christians
- Part 1
Printable Version
You're single. And you're dating. Or you're
recently widowed or divorced. And you're contemplating dating
again. Are you truly ready to get back into the dating game?
And why does it have to be a game anyway? Following are
answers to these questions and tips and strategies to help you
to get what you want out of the dating game!
First, are you ready to get back into the dating arena? To
answer that question, you must first ask yourself why you want
to date. Which one of the following statements apply to your
attitude towards Christian dating: a) You want to meet the man
or woman of your dreams, settle down and get married b)You're
bored or lonely c) You're looking for a friend with 'benefits'
d) You're looking for some good Christian conversation and
fellowship. If your answers are not a) or d), you probably
shouldn't be dating. As for those other answers - If you're
bored or lonely, you need to get those needs met elsewhere.
Make some new friends, participate in church or social events
or join an online group or forum. Dating will not relieve your
boredom or loneliness in the long run; it will just make you
feel that much worse when and if the relationship ends. And,
if you're looking for a friend with 'benefits', I ain't mad at
you, but you know and I know that's not the purpose of dating
anyone, Christian or non-Christian. Sure, it's nice to have
someone in our lives who can act as our substitute boyfriend
or girlfriend, or a convenient date at big affairs, but God
gave us friends, families and communities so that we would
always have someone to hang out with or to share our love
with. And it's okay to go places alone! But, if you are truly
ready to be married or are honestly looking for good
conversation and fellowship, you are ready to date! So read
on.
Why does dating have to be a game? I have asked myself this
question a thousand times, and I have finally come to the
conclusion that dating will always be considered a 'game'
because rules and strategies apply to everything in life,
and dating is no exception. If you think you can circumvent
the rules of dating, think about this. Have you ever met
someone and were ready to commit your entire life to them or
called them every single day or let them move in right away?
Now think about how that person treated you - badly, right?
You can't approach dating as simply a 'being me' proposition.
Dating requires much thought and consideration. And the time
to lay down your strategy is now, and hopefully not 10 years
into a no-hope relationship. But if you are in a long term
relationship headed nowhere, take heart! You can use the
following strategies to dump that guy or girl or light a fire
under him or her to get what you want.
Here are the steps to dating successfully:
Establish Your Criteria
What are you looking for in a date? If it's good fun and
fellowship, then choose someone with a healthy relationship
with God, common interests, and who is outgoing and
articulate. But if you want something more serious, you need
to give it more serious consideration. Write down a list of at
least 10 attributes you want to find in a mate. Put stars next
to those traits that are a must. This will serve as your future
checklist. As you meet people and begin to date, make sure the people
you date have at least one of your 'must' traits. And at least
6 out of 10 traits you have listed. You will probably not meet
someone who has every trait you listed, but that's okay, too.
You might meet someone who has a great trait you never even
thought of and will be happier you were open to meeting that
person. And, don't expect anyone you date to be perfect. After
all, you're not perfect, so make sure you maintain realistic
expectations.
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