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Teenage Dating vs. Courtship (Part 2 of 2) By Angie Lewis
What exactly is courtship? Courtship
is young men and women seeking each other out for the purpose of
finding a spouse. It is a sexually abstinent friendship that through
the courting process bonds two people together while they both grow
and learn to honor, respect, and love each other.
The courting process involves the parents on both sides and the
parents must approve and bless the courtship.
In essence, courtship is a word that has been applied to describe
the biblical basis for the relationship leading up to marriage. In
the Bible, the parents were always involved in the marriage process.
It is a “MAN” who leaves his father and mother to cleave to a wife,
not a “BOY” dating a young girl! Dating is not sound biblical
doctrine.
The biblical basis for courting is found in the bible through Mary
and Joseph. Not only did Mary and Joseph court one another they were
betrothed!
Betrothal is almost like being married; both partners KNOW they will
get married, but for sound reasons, maybe financial, or being too
young at the time, they are betrothed (engaged) until they finally
get married.
Betrothal is different than worldly engagement though; there is
still NO SEX during the betrothal period, and the betrothal cannot
be broken off like an engagement. Betrothal is a promise between God
and the couples just like marriage is.
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the
Lord Proverbs 18:22
"For this cause shall a man leave Father and mother, and shall
cleave to a wife..." Matt. 19:5
The most wonderful thing about courtship is there isn’t any of the
pressure associated with having to have sex! Neither expects sex
from the other because they knew going into the courtship
relationship that sex would be taboo, and so they are FREE to enjoy
each other without the sexual conditions and hang-ups to be met. Do
you know what a BIG load that is off the young girl’s emotions? Big!
Big! Big!
Dating on the other hand is a sexual worldly ritual that usually
involves flirting, lustfulness, and sex. Dating is SEX!
For several generations young girls have been encouraged by society,
peers, and culture to experiment with a variety of romantic partners
before marriage. What an emotional roller coaster ride for these
young girls!
These dating relationships start the process of recreational bonding
that when ripped apart cause broken hearts and heavy-laden emotions
that impact the mental stability of the young girl. These
romantic-lust involvements tend to end with a wounded heart, and
whacked out emotions, and with each subsequent broken relationship,
the wound gets bigger and bigger.
These wounds are the baggage that many young women bring into their
marriage, causing numerous problems that could have been prevented.
The dating process taught them to base relationships on the “date
them, dump them syndrome”. It taught them that they aren’t good
enough, and it taught them to be on the defensive at all times with
men, and to basically not trust them even into marriage.
These young women are unable to cope with the pressures of sexual
relationships because they don’t really know what the godly basis
for marriage is, such as honor and commitment that is learned
through the courting process.
The courting process unlike the dating process is a sound biblically
based relationship without the trappings of sex. There is a purpose
for courting and that purpose leads to a healthy marriage.
Of course not every marriage will end in divorce because a young
girl had sexual relations before marriage, but it doesn’t help
either. Some of these women are more resilient and can snap back,
others have discovered the Spiritual Christ in their lives and can
maintain a happy marriage and family life.
But for most of these young girls, the damage wrecks havoc with
their emotions and the past will continue to haunt them in their
marriage. For instance, she may have negative feelings about sex.
She may use sex has a way to get what she wants, or worse yet, she
may reject her husband because of her emotions telling her how to
behave in the marriage. And, still, worse yet, she may commit
adultery, not really seeing anything wrong with it, since she had so
many relations in the past.
As you can see, there will be consequences of these young girls
actions later in their life, and these consequences will and DO
affect the quality of the marriage!
We parents can be in control of our children’s lives, and help them
to do what is right for them selves and others. We can actually love
our children by telling them no, while steering them towards the
path that will ultimately lead them to where true happiness lies.
They will thank you for it later when they have finally matured into
respectable and loving adults.
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Angie Lewis offers spiritual enlightenment tips for couples in
marriage, and is the author of new release book JOURNEY ON THE ROADS
LESS TRAVELED.
This unique book is about love, life, marriage, addiction,
temptation, and understanding the power of spiritual awareness for
your marriage.
In her book, Angie reveals her own journey of overcoming addiction
and battling with her negative emotions that she allowed to embrace
her life and marriage.
To find out more about this new book click here,
http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com/
ISBN 1413788904
Avaliable Amazon online!
Angie Lewis counsels couples and writes a monthly newsletter where
she reveals her secrets on how YOU can stay happily married for
life!
Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can stay
happily and forever married!
http://www.heavenministries.com/
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